Day Eighty-Seven

I worked out for another 2 hours today... making that big push the last weekend before my day 90 weigh-in on tuesday. Im so beat, which should help me sleep better, which will be good since I wanna get up early tomorrow and get a hike in before my regular workout.

Day Eighty-Six

I'm gearing up for the next phase of my workouts... I had to get some new running shoes, a heart monitor, a medicine ball, etc. I can't wait till I start running! The weather's perfect, it'll be great to get outdoors and great to change up my routine. For now I have to figure out the specifics of interval training and the best way to get in better shape to run a half-marathon in 8 weeks.

Day Eighty-Five

I put on size 36 pants today! I havent been size 36 in at least 3 or 4 years! I started at size 42 so this means Ive dropped about 3 sizes already!

WEEK TWELEVE

Day Eighty-Four

What a nice day off! Both from work and my workouts...

Ive noticed something odd over the last few weeks. My pants have been getting looser but my weight has stayed the same. Clearly I'm losing weight but gaining in muscle mass. Once I make the transition off P90 and into a lifestyle I want to make sure I keep my muscle mass, I think if I scale back my weight training to 2 days a week I should be able to keep what I have, drop more weight and not bulk up. 

Day Eighty-Three

My workouts lately have been getting tougher, although I am finding it easier to do things like pushups and squats. Last night just for the heck of it I did 100 squats, it killed me! But again I felt great. I can't wait for my last day off before I make the big push for the last week.

Day Eighty-Two

I worked out for about an hour and a half today. That's the longest workout I've had in weeks. I did the 35 min cardio routine 3 times. I'm exhausted but I feel awesome! After the first cycle I felt good and decided to push myself for another cycle. Then after the 2nd I hit the wall but I thought if I'm really gonna push hard this last week I need to go all the way, so I pushed through the wall and did a third cycle, and afterwards I felt proud of myself. No to keep pushing, for the last week and for the rest of my life.

Day Eighty-One

My sleep cycle still a bit screwy, but I worked out at a decent time. I did weight training today... Since the beginning of the program I've liked strength and hated cardio, but over the past couple of weeks I've found that reversing. I'm getting more into cardio and strength seems to be kicking my ass. But I fight through it and keep goin!

Day Eighty

Ten days to go! My sleep cycle had been all screwy since the festival... During the fest I didnt get enough sleep and for the past week I've gotten too much! I fell asleep early (around 9pm) without having worked out, but I got up in the middle of the night (around 3am) and decided to workout then. I got my workout for the previous day in, but then I couldn't go back to bed! I gotta get back on schedule!

Day Seventy-Nine

I got fired today (officially). And I dont care one bit. I can finally have time to concentrate on school, and most of all P90! Speaking of which I was so busy with my internship and then meeting various people afterwards (mostly to congratulate me) that I didnt get home until very late, but I still did my workout. Nothing (not even getting fired) is gonna keep me from P90!

WEEK ELEVEN

It's been a rough and tumble week! I had the horror/scifi festival, I was fired than maybe not than for sure, I got bogged down in school work and other things, but all the while I kept working out. I haven't had as much time as before but now with work out of the way I can make the big push for the final 2 weeks.

In some ways these last two weeks are gonna be the toughest of all. Maybe I've gotten bored of doing the same thing everyday for the over 70+ days but I'm looking forward to moving on. I thought by now I'd be easier but I see now that fitness and health is a lifelong struggle, I have to commit myself EVERY day to make the right choices, I have to live by the recovering alcoholics' creedo of "one day at a time". Some days will be easy, some days (like the last few) will be tough and I'll have to push myself extra hard to exercise or to stop eating when I'm full, but either way I have to keep at it. I've already lost over 30 lbs, that's the most I've ever lost before, but I have to stay focused otherwise it'll be for nothing, and I'll gain it all back like I always did and my story will be just another story of failure. I REFUSE TO LET THAT HAPPEN.

After I'm done with this P90 cycle I'm gonna start running and training for the PF Chang's half marathon, which is in the middle of January. That gives me 2 1/2 months to prepare, more than enough. My focus will be on more cardio, to lose weight, but I'll keep up with the weights so I don't lose the muscle mass I've built up (plus more muscle means a higher metabolism). And I'll incorporate more fun stuff like hiking, racquet ball, swimming, whatever just so I don't get bored.

I'll still have my goal of losing 10lbs a month which will put me at 50lbs lost by graduation, another goal of mine. And then after the half-marathon, I'll start another cycle of P90X and hit that hardcore. But as I've said all along my main goal is to get healthy, make better choices and live a healthier lifestyle. I don't wanna be fixated by the scale and by numbers, I really want to transform my life and then the weight will take care of itself.

I'd say 2 weeks to go, but really this is just the begining, I have my whole life to go!

Day Seventy-Eight

Cardio felt good today, as I'm catching up with homework I hope to work back up to 2 hours a day. But for now the 40 minutes of the program is good... less than two weeks to go!

Day Seventy-Seven

Day off today! Which is good, a day to regroup and recommit myself to P90 and get ready for the last 2 weeks!

Day Seventy-Six

Spent most of the day catching up with my sleep from the festival... This always happens after a festival or long shoot. But the good news is that since I dont have a job I have all the free time I need to get all my workouts in. So, I'll wokout in a bit for 40 mins or sso and then later tonigh I can get another workout in. Hoepfully I can really hit it hard this week and get back to my 2 hours-a-day workouts!

Day Seventy-Five

I got up a little late (I was up so late) that I didnt have time to work out before the festival, but today's the last day and I know I'll have time tonight. It should be an early night tonight.

We were done by 10 and I got home early, but I was so beat I went to bed for a quick nap. I woke back up around 1 am and worked out. It did feel good to get my workout in, even if it was super late! But I did it! 74 days and I havent missed one yet!

Day Seventy-Four

Got up early to work out early, I know I'll have no time to workout later tonight. So, I forced myself to get up extar early this morning, finish some homework and bang out my workout for the day.

And, sure enough I didnt get home till almost 4, so no way I wouldv'e worked out that late!

Day Seventy-Two

Horror/Scifi festival starts today, and I still found time to do my workout.

I had Subway for lunch, a footlong chicken breast sandwich, afterwards I was stuffed. There was a time where I could eat 1 and a half footlongs easy and still have room for chips and soda. But now a footlong is too much! For the last couple of weeks I've been so busy that I really only eat one big meal like that a day, I usually just eat snacks throughout the day (some fruit, a fiber one bar, a cup of yogurt) and that's it, just the one 'regular' meal a day. It keeps me at about 1500 cals which is 800 less than what my body needs, on top of that I burn 500-750 cals in exercise, so that ends up being 3 pounds a week, which is what I've been averaging.

Day Seventy-One

Today was the first time I was able to get in a nice good long workout, the kind I used to do before things were crazy. It felt so good! I was dripping in sweat and I just felt like a million bucks! I can't wait to get back into the groove of things.

I met some people for lunch yesterday and was forced into Peter Piper Pizza. OMG, it was soooo fucking bad! It ruined the rest of my day I was sooo sick! Never again will I eat that crap! I didnt even want it, I tried to eat salad, but it was drenched in dressing so I had no choice but to eat some pizza.. ugh!

WEEK TEN

Well they finally fired me! I'll post more about when I can, but I honestly don't care, it was only a matter of time and for now I can focus on school, my internship at the Museum and most of P90!

The last couple of weeks have been so crazy that I haven't had as much time to workout and there were more than a few days where I ate late, ate too much or just plain ate junk. So I weighed myself and I've lost 31 pounds! That's better than I thought. I seemed to have stalled around 27 pounds but I kept going and now that I've passed the 30 pound mark I can say that this is the most weight I've ever lost and I haven't been this weight in at least 2 years. Despite having a rough 3 weeks, I'm still on pace to lose 50 pounds by graduation and way ahead of my goal of 10 pounds a month.

Now it's time to get re-energized, refocused and make the big push for the final 3 weeks!

Day Seventy

Looks like I got fired today! I'll post more about when I have time, for now it's off to get things ready for the horror/scifi fest. Even with losing my job I still don;t have time today for a workout, Tuesday will be my off day this week.

Day Sixty-Nine

My sleep cycle has been all out of whack, so I'll just haveta work out tonight. It's not ideal but I'm still stick to it!

Day Sixty-Eight

I'm pretty much done with all the work I've been doing for the horror/scifi festival, so I'll finally have more free time and can get back to working out in the morning like normal and get my extra workout at night. I'm also caught up with school and mid-terms so I can use the next week to refocus on working out and eating better. Then I'll make a big push for the final 3 weeks.

Day Sixty-Seven

Was so busy today that I had to make today my off day, I'll workout tomorrow.

Day Sixty-Six

"I pushed myself a bit harder yesterday thanI have been recently, maybe to make up for the last week or so of not really itting it hard. Well, I'm paying the price today. My back is killing me! I need to get my good workouts in but I gotta be smart about it! I don't wanna get hurt and lay myself up for a week, what good would that do? Anyway, time to hit a warm bath w/ epson salt, hopefully that'll do some good. Ironically, the only thing that usually helps is when I work out some more! Hair of the dog that bit me, type thing I guess!

Day Sixty-Five

I violated one of my rules, I weighed myself again. I feel like I fell off the wagon a bit, even though I've been keeping up with the workouts, I haven't worked out as much as I've like and I haven't been as vigilant as I should be with my eating habits, including eating a "grease-burger" for the first time in a long time and eating late. So, I was curious how the last 2 weeks or so have affected my weight. I was glad to see that I didn't gain anything! By all accounts I should have gained alot more, but I think the 40 min workouts and my increase in muscle mass have compensated for a bit of that. Of course I'm not happy that I'm stuck at 30lbs down, but all in all it could have been worse. I just gotta refocus and get back to work!

Day Sixty-Four

Momentum! Working on these two festivals have zapped all my time and zapped my momentum. I've been so busy building and editing the shorts programs for the horror/scifi fest that I didn't start working out until after 3 in the am! I was so focused that I had to stop and force myself to workout again. It feels like I've lost a bit of the momentum I've built up n the last 2 months, but I haven't completely stopped, so that's good, I'm just not as focused as I once was. I've also done some "stress eating" as the last couple of days have been insane. Hopefully after this weekend everything will calm down a bit and I can get some workout time in and refocus my energy on P90. After the festival in a week or so I'll really be able to hit it hard and make a big push for the last 2 weeks of the program.

WEEK NINE

What a crazy week! I spent most of my free time at the Scottsdale Intl Film Festival, on top of this I had school, 3 assignments, a midterm, work, starting my internship and I'm gearing up for the Horror/SciFi Festival. But I still managed to find time to work out. And the next few weeks promise to be just as hectic, but the only thing getting me through is my workouts, it keeps me energized and my stress level in check.

I may not be able to workout as much as I would like but despite everything I'm sticking to the program, NO EXCUSES! No matter how busy I get P90 has to be my top priority, 'cause a healthy life is my number one priority, everything comes from that. 4 weeks to go! Time to do work!

Day Sixty-Three

Tuesday and Thursday are my crazy days, I have my internship early and then I go to work. So i'll have to workout tonight when I get home, not ideal but its what I have to do. I think im gonna switch my off day to Thursday that way I can workout on sunday when I have more time and not worry about cramming in a workout on one of my hectic days.

Day Sixty-Two

It was a crazy end to a crazy week! I had a proposal due, a midterm, a weekend at the festival, gearing up for another festival and Mondays are always horrible at work, but again I made sure that despite all that I found time to workout. And I think its the only thing that's getting me through the whole thing,giving me energy reducing my stress, etc... I can't wait for things to calm down a bit so I can get a serious workout in, go for hike or start running!

MONTH TWO

Its been a great month! Working out went from being a chore to something I really look forward to! It went from something I had to force myself to do to something I had to force myself to take a break from. I've lost alot of weight but more importantly I've gained the other benefits of a healthy lifestyle: more energy, sleeping better, and im sure my cholesterol and blood pressure have improved. And probably the biggest benefit: a healthy outlook on life. My stress is gone im happier and I don't think its a coincidence that things at work have calmed down and in the last week I managed to secure a great internship that could lead to tremendous opportunities down the road. My life's changed so much in the last 2 months and I owe it all to a litle hard work, some dumbells and P90X.

Day Sixty-One

Had my weight in this morning... I've lost 27 lbs! My weight loss has slowed slightly, which is no big deal I did more strength this week than cardio and with the festival didn't have much more time than just doing the regular routine no time for extra workouts. But im way happy with how things are going, i originally thought id probably lose 10 pounds a month, im way ahead of that so im happy. 30 days to go!!!

Day Sixty

another busy day at the festival, but again I found time to workings. Again not as much as I would've liked, especially with my weight in tomorrow, but I did it. I've been noticing that it's time to increase my weights again, its getting a bit too easy with the ones I have.... gotta step it up!

Day Fifty-Nine

Didnt get a chance to blog yesterday since i was at the museum most of the day and then i went to the opening night of the Scottsdale international film festival... although I didn't have time to blog I did have time to work out, not as long as I would have liked but I still did it. I proved that no matter how busy I get I can still find time to workout. The last time I was working out and a festival came up I got so busy I stopped and after the fest was over I never resumed. I resolved that I wouldn't let that happen again. So far so good!

Day Fifty-Eight

Now my size 38 jeans are getting loose! It wont be too long before they start falling off of me!

Sunday's the big 60 day weigh-in, so I gotta push hard for that.... I should be closing in on 30 lbs lost. During the past couple of days Ive been going through my closet finding clothes that I haven't worn in a bit, some of them are starting to fit me better. I've even been digging through clothes that I packed away years ago, at the pace I'm going it'll be another 4-6 weeks before they fit me again. Some of these clothes I haven't worn in 8 or 9 years! I always kept them cause I figured some day I'm gonna lose weight and get back in 'em. Up until 2 months ago that seemed like a pipe dream, now with each passing day it's becoming reality.

Day Fifty-Seven

I started working at an internship today, it's gonna take up a lot of my free time... But I still found the time for 2 one hour workout sessions. My schedule's in flux and there may be days when I just won't have time to workout in the morning or night, I'll only have time to workout during lunch. Depending on how early I have to be at the internship I may have to get up as early as 5:30 to have enough time to workout, which means only about 3.5 hours of sleep of night, which I could do, but it's just not healthy... I'll just have to see what my schedule is, I may have to be content with only working out at lunch.

The good news is if I do that point, it'll only be for about a month or so. I've already establish my routine, I've already gotten to the point of enjoying working out, I've gotten through the hard part. All the times I've failed at a diet or exercise routine before something's come along and disrupted my schedule but it's been disrupted early on in the program, when I haven't reached the point I'm at now. Now I'll do anything to get my workout in (including bringing clothes to work) whereas before my schedule would get disrupted and I'd gladly stop working out and eating healthy. So, despite the change in schedule I'm in prime position to stay focused and remain in track for P90.

WEEK EIGHT

It's official - I'm workout guy! I'm at the point now where I look forward to working out and I gotta workout at least twice, once in the morning and again at night. I was talking to my brother and he just couldn't fathom actually enjoying a workout, I told him that it's taken 8 weeks to finally get to this point. The first 2 weeks I really had to force myself to workout, then the next couple of weeks it got a little easier but it wasn't automatic. Then it took another 2 or so before it became automatic, I still didn't enjoy it but I didn't have to force myself, I just got up and did it. Then in the last week or so it's like a switch flipped: I enjoy working out!

Last Sunday was my off day and I wanted to workout, I had to force myself to not workout! So, now I look forward to working out in the morning, I'm bringing clothes to work so I can workout again on my lunch break, and I drive home fast to get in another workout before I go to bed at night. Everyday the workouts get a little easier, I can push myself a little harder, increase the intensity just a little bit, do an extra rep or two.

To answer my brother: After I workout I fell energized, I fell a good sort-of tired, like you feel after a hard but good day at work, I feel like I've sweated out toxins, my mind feels clearer, I can focus again, stress and tension melt away and I just feel like I'm ready to do anything.

This journey is a slow climb up a steep hill but at least now I'm enjoying the ride.

Day Fifty-Six

I'm loving this working out at work thing! With school and other projects Im working on there may be days when Im so busy that working out on my lunch break may be my only option, there'll be days when I have to leave the house so early and get back so late that I just wont have time to workout before or after work, so it's nice to know that I can do it at work during my lunch. I just have to remember to bring my shoes and an extra pairs of socks! The last 2 days I forgot to bring my sneakers so I had to work out in my socks, which was fine its just that they were all sweaty from working out so I walked around barefoot for awhile until I found a pair of my sandles hidden in my desk! I must forget my shoes alot if I have a pair of backup sandles hidden in my desk!

Day Fifty-Five

Brought a change of clothes to work and I worked out for about 20min on my lunch break. I was just getting warmed up and had to stop to get back to work :(.... next time I gotta bring my lunch, eat it earlier, around 6 or so before I actually go on my break and then I can have the bulk of an hour to get in at least 40 min. Oh well! There's always tomorrow. I think I am getting addicted to this whole workout thing!

Day Fifty-Four

Sunday, day off! Relaxing is great, I feel great, I feel like I could workout if I wanted to, but I think its important to stick with the program, I think having a rest day is important, even though I feel like I don't need one, its important to not over do it, let my body rest up so I can get back to it on Monday. I dont wanna go to hard and risk either getting hurt or worse burning myself out and then not working out for a couple of days, which then would become a couple of weeks, and then Im right back where Im started. So, Ill rest up and get ready to hit the ground running tomorrow.

Day Fifty-Three

I think I'm nearing the point of becoming addicted to working out... I'm definitely at the point of not even questioning working out, its totally automatic, when I wake up I know its something Im gonna do. But for about the last week or so Ive gotten to the point of not even being able to conceive of NOT working out. I think in about a week or two I'll reach the point of being a full blown work-out-oholic! All this in just 2 short months! I cant wait what the last 30 days have in store!

Day Fifty-Two

Some of the other guys at work yesterday got mexican food from this restaurant that I used to really like. The food is incredibly greasy, incredibly, cheesy and incredibly good. But watching them eat it I was kinda disgusted, I actually had no desire to have any of it. I knew how it would make me feel and I knew that I dont want that feeling from food anymore. That sluggish, full, weighted down feeling. So I had a veggie burger from Burger King with a side salad instead of fries. All together it was around 500 cals, and I felt full and happy afterwards.

Day Fifty-One

I worked out for 2.5 hours yesterday and when I woke up this morning my back was so sore, but I fought through that pain and about halfway through my morning workout I felt better. Afterwards any pain I had was gone. So one at work said that the human body is the only machine that gets better the more you use it. The transformation I'm going through is really amazing, I cant wait to start running!

Day Fifty

At the end of last night's episode of The Biggest Loser they showed clips of the upcoming season and for the first time theyre bringing on actual Marine drill sgts and having the contestants train in a real boot camp style, complete with 20 mile hikes with full packs- theyre gonna be training like real Marines train. So, I've been thinking I need to kick it up a notch. Once I hit day 60 I'm gonna increase the intensity and duration of my workouts, Im already nearly at 2 hours a day but I think I can do more, but not just more but by more efficient. I have to keep pushing myself if I hope to avoid hitting any kind of walls or plateaus, Ive been lucky that I havent yet, and I think its because every 2 weeks I ratchet up my workouts, so I need to keep that going, at least until the end of these 90 days, then I can stabilize my workouts for a few months before moving on to P90X.

WEEK SEVEN

Ive already begun planning for life after P90, specifically how im going to continue to lose weight and remain healthy. Which I guess is the whole point, its not just about these 90 days but about the rest of my life. I feel like these 90 days are a foundation upon which I can build anything. And not just in terms of working out and living healthy but doing whatever I want: get a better job, continue with school, make another movie, move across country, whatever, as long as I put my mind to it and am willing to do the hard work I can achieve anything! That's the greatest benefit of the program, all the weight-loss, increased energy and flexibility are great but the feeling that once I conquer these 90 days I can conquer anything is truly empowering! And really, after having the program kick my ass for 90 days everything else is gonna seem like child's play!

Day Forty-Nine

The newest season of The Biggest Loser started tonight. In seasons past I'd start watching, feel inspired for a bit than the feeling would start to wane, then I'd see how much these people were losing and then I'd stop watching because watching just reminded me of my failure. Well, I started watching again and I did feel inspired but now I'm starting in a place where I've already begun succeeding in weight loss. So, anything for continued inspiration. 7 weeks down 6 to go!

Day Forty-Eight

Well, I heard that the rumors at work are that I'm off the shit list at work... Either they finally realized my value to the company and that they cant get rid of me or someone else is higher up on the list than me, if I had to guess I'd say the latter... But this changes nothing as far as I'm concerned, I'm still sticking with the program, I'm still working hard at school, I'm still looking for another job, I'm still working on bettering myself and getting out of here. Ever since my review and being put on probation I have noticed they've toned down the rhetoric, maybe they moved on to something else, maybe they're busy with all the upgrades we're doing, maybe they realized I don't care about this place and calling me into meetings all the time serves no purpose.

Anyway... I always enjoy my Monday workout, after resting up on Sunday I can always kill it on Monday, soon I'll be killing it everyday!

Day Forty-Seven

Enjoying my day off! I woke up early this morning and have been goin ever since... It's nice to have energy get caught up on things like laundry, homework, cleaning my car, etc... I'm only on about 5 hours sleep and I feel fine, I don't need a nap like I would've before. On days like today I feel 10 years younger! And even though it is my day off I have so much energy I feel like maybe doing a light workout when I get home tonight... we'll see... either way it is nice to rest up before the start of another long week.

Day Forty-Six

Everyone at work is so proud of me. I told 'em how much I had lost and a few of 'em started clapping! It all felt really cool. But I don't wanna start celebrating yet. They're the guys in the sports department so I told 'em it's like celebrating at halftime, you may be up 23-0 but if you start slacking you could let the other come back and win. So, I have to stay more focused than ever, keep doin' what I'm doin', take it one day at a time and before I know it I'll be writing my blog for day 90.

HALFWAY POINT

Just a quick note to say that yesterday was day 45, the halfway point, so this morning I weighed-in.
45 days ago I weighed 282 lbs, this morning I weighed 259, which is a loss of 23 lbs.
At this pace I'll easily meet one of my goals of losing 50 lbs by graduation. I'm sure the pace of my weight loss will slow as my metabolism adjusts and I gain more muscle mass, so when that happens I don't want to get discouraged, so I don't wanna get too excited about having lost so much in 45 days... But it does feel great!

After the 90 days end in November I wanna start running and try to do a 10K by the end of the year. I'll be at least 50 lbs down and have 2 months to train, but I think that's my next big goal. 10K by the end of 2010.

Day Forty-Five

Halfway point!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I know I may sound like a broken record, but with each passing day sticking to my routine gets easier and easier. Working out in the morning has almost become automatic, resisting food like pizza and cheeseburgers is a little tougher but I'm getting there. A lot of people now are noticing the weight loss and increase in energy and my general positive attitude. Everyone wants to know how I'm doing it, what's my secret- it feels really good to tell them that I'm doing it the old fashioned way, eating a lot less and working out a lot more. Everyone's proud and that's the best motivation.

My halfway point weight-in will be tomorrow morning, but again I don't wanna focus on just lbs, I really wanna focus on getting healthy and staying active. So, no matter how much I lost I can feel good that I haven't missed a day, that I'm way healthier now than I was 45 days ago an I've taken the first step in permanently changing my lifestyle.

Day Forty-Four

The P90 program comes w/ a bonus disk called "Fat Burning Express". I remember trying to do it years ago when I first got the program... I had just started the program and it was way to intense for me, I don't think I even finished the one time. So, last night I busted it out, and it was just as intense as I remember, but this time I got through it. It starts w/ 3 or 4 minutes of strech and yoga and then goes into 30 straight minutes of cardio- no breaks, then 3 minutes of cool down/stretch. After I did it last night for the first time I was drenched in sweat, just dripping... and I felt great! Great just because I finished it for the first time, but great the way I always feel after my workouts. So, I'm gonna add this bonus workout to my regular routine.

I'm reminded of that stupid phrase used by simple-minded people in middle management always say when they cant think of anything original or clever to say to motivate employees, its trite and cliche but I think it applies to me in this case: "You gotta work smarter not harder". Before I was focused on working out 1, 1 1/2, 2 or 2 1/2 hours, but some of those hours were on the wii fit which isn't that intense. So instead of working to some number like 2 hours a day my new focus is doing this intense extra workout, which is only 30 mins. So, from now on it's the P90 routine in the morning for 40 mins +20 mins of wii fit. Then at night it's this intense "Fat Burning Express" for 30 mins. So, it'll only be an hour and a half a day, but it'll be a really intense hour and a half.

Day Forty-Three

I'm really pushing it hard for my weigh-in on Saturday... I worked out for an hour this morning, and it was a bit more intense than I usually do, and now I'm getting ready to do another hour... I busted out alot of my homework so tomorrow on my day off I wanna try and do 3 hours... I'll spread it out over 3 one-hour sessions so I don't kill myself, but I definitely wanna hit it hard before Saturday.

WEEK SIX

I was talking to my friend Justin the other day and I was telling him how I'm coming up to the halfway point, he said that it seems like it was just yesterday when I came up with the idea of doing P90. It seems so simple, you can change your life so much in just 90 days. It's little steps that you take every single day that end up having enormous impact.

He's a filmmaker and I related the process I'm going through of getting healthy and changing my lifestyle to making a movie. I've heard over and over from many people that they have a great movie idea but then that's it, they never make the movie, they never write the script, it never gets past the idea phase. Making a movie is a daunting task involving hundreds of steps and dozens of people. It can be overwhelming, especially to people that have never made a movie before, most people don't know where to start so they never do. That's why most filmmakers start by making shorts or music videos, they're a way to learn the process on a small scale that can then translate to a larger scale. Eating right and exercising is the same. To live a healthy lifestyle can be a bit overwhelming, at first, but it's doing a little bit everyday, breaking in down into small steps, making smart choices day after day and not getting discouraged when you slip up. So I look at these 90 days as a short film, a sort of trial run that will give me the tools and skills to help translate these 90 days to the feature-length film that is the rest of my life.

As in filmmaking, it's the little victories that end making a successful film. It's the day when the light is perfect or an actor is on fire or when the cameraman pulls off an amazing move. Those are the days you live for as a filmmaker. Doing the P90 it's days like today when I say "no" to free (junk) food at work or when I push myself and run a bit farther than before or do 1 more push-up than yesterday or go one more day without a soda. By taking small steps you've accomplished something that you thought impossible: you've made a movie or changed your lifestyle.

Day Forty-Two

I'm proud of myself. Today at the station Chic-Fil-A brought in sandwiches for everyone in the newsroom. Alas they were all breaded chicken sandwiches, so I said "no" and just ate the fruit they had brought. Everyone was proud of me, but no one was prouder than myself. Again, I probably could've eaten the sandwich and been fine but it was what it represented more than anything that I said "no" too. If I had eaten it it would've made it easier to eat the next time they brought in junk food, and then easier and easier, and before you know it I'm right back where I started eating whatever I want all the time.

I remember seeing money advice on CNBC or CNN or something, they said if you feel like buying something, stop, think about it and sleep on it for 24 hours, if you still want it after 24 hours then go ahead and get it. I've adapted this philosophy for food. If I really want to eat something, I just stop, think about the consequences, give it an hour or two and then if I still want it, I'll eat it, but in most cases (like today with the chicken sandwich) I let the momentary desire pass and when it did I felt good. If I can just keep it up for 48 more days I'll be well on my way to making those decisions a part of my lifestyle.

Day Forty-One

For the briefest of moments I thought about sleeping in this morning and waiting to do my workout after work- but I shrugged it off, I knew that would set a dangerous precedent. So, I got up and did the full 40 min routine (didn't have time for any more, but I'll do at least another half hour tonight).

Friday marks the halfway point so I really wanna kill it this week for my weigh-in. Today also represents the first full week of starting the longer, higher intensity workouts. Again, it's gotten a little easier, I can push myself a little more and get through the entire workout more easily. And, I LOVE YOGA! I've increased my flexibility and endurance so the yoga isn't as hard as it was 6 weeks ago. I'm still not as limber as Tony and the other guys on the DVD but I'm gettin' there!

Day Forty

Well, had a bit of a bad night last night. I went out and had 4 drinks over the course of the night, which by themselves were only about 250 cals. But after the club a bunch of us went to 5 and Diner, where I had the turkey club and fries. I just drank water and fortunately the fires were so old and stale that I only had a few of them. On the upside it was so late that it was early and I didn't eat breakfast this morning. All in all I don't think I ate that many extra cals, I'm just upset that I ate late and I let having a good time cloud my judgement and have a few more drinks than I wanted which ended up leading to the eating late.

On a funny note, while at the club I wanted to dance but I couldn't! I took a change of clothes to work but forgot to bring a belt, the pants I wore didn't even fit me 6 weeks, now they're way too loose! I didn't think of bringing a belt, so I had to spend most of the night with my hands in my pockets, secretly holding my pants up! Bopping and nodding my head, I'm sure I made quite the sight!

Day Thirty-Nine

About 3 or 4 months ago I was thinking of finding a therapist, or a psychologist or psychiatrist (still not sure of what the difference is)... either way I was not feeling good, nothing made me happy, I just seemed depressed all the time. Its a feeling that I get from time to time every few months and this time it seemed really pronounced. I was scrolling through all the doctors in my network to see who was near, what their speciality was, etc. Well I never went... my biggest hesitation is that I don't want to be put on any drugs, but if I really do suffer from a chemical imbalance and it's for the best than who am I to question modern science?

Fast Forward to now and I feel great! I've been told this all my life but never payed attention to it and never really believed up 'cause I never experienced it.... until now. A healthy body leads to a healthy mind. There really is something to the mind-body connection... I was eating garbage and so of course my body felt it, but more importantly my mind did too.

That's the biggest change I've noticed... Within a week my body started feeling better, more energy, sleeping better, but now after almost 6 weeks my mind is felling better. It's like a fog has lifted, I can think clearer, I'm not in a haze or funk all the time anymore, and my depression is gone. Life is good again! I feel like this whole process is a total body and make over, soon I'll look good and be healthy on the inside as well as the outside.

Day Thirty-Eight

I didnt get a chance to blog yesterday since my wifi was acting all wonky....

But just a quick line to say that I worked out for 2.5 hours yesterday again. Which is my new record! I was exhausted and my feet killed me. I slept good and woke up this morning refreshed and ready to go. I'm not that sore, my recovery time is great.... In a bit I'll do today's workout and relax as I'm done for the week. One more week till I'm halfway through the program!

Day Thirty-Seven

I did work out again last night, so that made it 2 hours yesterday, I worked out for an hour earlier today and I'm getting ready to do another hour. It feels like anything less than an hour seems like a waste. An hour is so easy it almost seems like its barely worth it, so I gotta do an hour and half to 2.

I happened upon a P90X commercial last night and one of the guys said something that I think captures my philosophy. He was talking about how easy the program is, how you don't have to do anything 'cause it's all been figured out for you already, the exercises, the diet plan, its all there and then he said all you have to do is pop a dvd in and push play everyday. In a very real sense that sums up my goal. My goal isn't to get through 90 days, my goal is to get through one day: today. And then when I succeed at that just repeat it 89 more times. So that's my goal: just push play everyday, just get through today's workout, don't worry about  how many days to go, or how hard the program is taken as a whole, or how many pounds I lost this week vs. last week, just worry about today, just worry about the 40 minutes of the routine, and worry about tomorrow tomorrow.

Day Thirty-Six

Worked out for an hour this morning, gettin ready to workout again, so no time to type! It's my day off, so I have to myself harder while I have the time.

WEEK FIVE

I can officially say that this is the longest I've ever been on a diet or exercise plan. And honestly id doesn't seem that long, and more importantly I will like I'm starting to get over a kind of hump and making the transition to long term lifestyle change. I don't have to force myself to workout in the morning as much as I had to 5 weeks ago, I don't eat anymore late at night, I maybe have one diet soda a day (as opposed to 3+), I don't eat as much red meat as before, I'm eating a lot more fruits and vegetables, I'm drinking so much water I have to pee 5 times a day! But the best part is that I don't feel deprived or like I'm sacrificing. For the most part I'm eating what I like, I'm just being sensible about it. I enjoy working out and I like all the positive feedback I'm getting. I have more energy and I don't need to take naps during the day, I don't feel "blah" like a I did all the time and when I did get a cold this past weekend, it only lasted a day and a half instead of the 3 or 4 it would've lasted in my pre P90 days.

So with 5 weeks down and 8 to go I feel like failure is not even a possibility. I'm not getting tripped up like I have in the past, I have very strong motivation (motivation that goes beyond just losing weight or getting healthy), I have a great support network that I didn't have before and most importantly I honestly say for the first time that I believe in myself, I believe I can do this. I may have told myself that in the past but I never truly believed it, until now.

At this point is not a question of "can I succeed?" I know I will, it's just a matter of doing my days - 35 down, 55 to go

Day Thirty-Five

I stayed up late getting caught up on my reading for school, so I woke up late this morning, which means another late night workout session, which is fine, Ive been staying up till 2 or 3 so time's really not a factor, i'm just mad that I won't be able to workout as much today, I've been good about doing an hour in the morning and at least another half hour at night, but tonight all I'll have time for is the 40 min of P90.

Day Thirty-Four

I feel better than ever! The day of rest and nyquil did wonders! So this morning I worked out for an intense 40 min routine than did so moderate aerobics for 20 for a total of an hour. Tonight I'll do at least another 20. The last couple of days I really didn't feel good and working out didn't make me feel any better, so today it was nice to workout and get that "good" feeling afterwards. I'm alot sticking to my plan of eating a bit more, including protein bars, drinking lots of water and taking my multi-vitamain. I'm the past whenever I'd get sick it'd last 3-4 days or more. This time I was really only sick for a bout a day and a half. So I think my immune system has gotten a boost from all the fruit and veggies I'm eating.

I read that it takes, on average 66 days to form a habit like working out on a regular basis, that is it takes that long before you longer have to force yourself to work out and it just becomes routine. If that's true I'm halfway there. But for me I think I may have already reached that point. This morning I still had to kinda force myself, but not much, my friend Justin is right, if I ever were to miss a day I'd totally regret it, but I have yet to once regret having worked out. I just try and keep that in my head in the morning when I think about skipping a day.

Day Thirty-Three

A wonderful day of rest! It's official I'm sick. I was feeling so bad last night that I knew my aches and pains were more than just from working out. So I've been taking dayquil/nyquil and I'm starting to feel alot better. By tomorrow I should be 100% for when I resume my workouts. I just have to remember to take my vitamins, eat my protein shakes/bars, make sure I eat right, not kill myself and hit the pool when I can.

Day Thirty-Two

Ugh, I feel horrible!  I think I ive overdone the last couple of days- wed 2 hours, thurs an hour, yest. an hour and a half and today 40 min, and the last 2 days have been at the more intense level 2 of the program. Add to that the fact that I ate a lot less before I reached the 30 day mark and my weigh in. Also I havent been eating any protein shakes or bars after my workouts like I should, so I think this is really killing my energy and recovery time. I'm so glad I'm switching my day off to Sunday 'cause I'm really gonna need a day to rest and recover. With the more intense workouts I think I'm gonna throttle back on doing wiifit for at least a week or so, so I don't kill myself. I'm also gonna make sure I eat enough protein before and after my workouts. I also used to hit the pool after my workouts, I think that really helped with the soreness, I just havent had time, but I think I need to work that back into my routine. Until then I feel like taking hot bath for about 12 hours!

This next week is gonna be tough!

Day Thirty-One

It's the start of e new month so that means I go to the next higher level of the program. The workouts are longer (40 mins of cardio vs 30) and more intense (the pace is faster). After I did the routine I worked out on the wii for 20 more minutes to get to an hour. I was spent! I haven't been this tired after my workout in weeks! But I guess that's the whole point! When I first started the program it was this tough, after 30 days it was getting a bit too easy so I guess Tony's onto something with his program!

MONTH ONE

So, I've reached a milestone of sorts. I've been on my diet/exercise routine for one month now, I've seen some great results (16lbs lost, more energy, sleeping better etc) and have gotten some compliments (just today the sports guys said that it looked like "my clothes were hanging off me") and I've gotten great support from all my friends, family and coworkers (big shout out to Justin who texts me everyday to ask how I did and really keeps me going! and of course Shannon too, who's comments mean alot to me! thank you everyone!) But the hardest part is yet to come...

Everone's been asking if I'm gonna celebrate this one month milestone, I said there's nothing to celebrate... yet... The upcoming week is the test, I've never been on a diet or exercise routine past 30 or so days, so for me the real milestone is 30 days plus a week. As great as I feel, and as great as my accomplishment is, so far, I can't focus on celebrating or relaxing yet, theres still alot to do.

I've started the P90 program before, I've done Atkin's multiple times, I've had a regular routine of using the treadmill and wii-fit before, I've lost 20-30 lbs before, but I've always failed to make a lasting change, I've always failed to make it a lifestyle choice. I've gained all that I've lost and then some. I've always hit a wall around the one month mark. The last month has been relatively easy, I've done it before, the real challenge is month two, the real test is making the transition from diet to lifestyle change, from short term weight loss goals to long term life change. That's my challenge as I enter month 2.

So, the easy part's over, now it's time to get to work!

More Day Thirty

I woke up really sore this morning from my 2 hour workout the night before. For about 10 seconds I thought: "I'll relax, take it east, recover this morning and workout tonight when I get home from work." After mulling it over I than said, "fuck that, time to workout!" So, I ate breakfast, waited about an hour than sucked it up and powered through my workout.

I just keep telling myself, over and over in my head:

THERE IS NO WAY I WILL ALLOW MYSELF TO FAIL

It's worked for a third of the program, let's keep it up for the other 2 thirds!

Day Thirty

Just a quick note that I did weigh myself this morning...
(although technically I should weigh myself at the end of day for it to be a full 30 days)
... anyway I'm down to 266, that's a 16lb loss in a month!
And I'm sure I probably lost more fat since I've increased my muscle mass.

More Day Twenty-Nine

Just wanted to say that between working out in the morning and just now I worked out for a total of 2 hours today! That's my new record! Stay tuned as I keep working to break it!

Day Twenty-Nine

Day 29! Almost a third of the way-thru!!!!!!!

I met a friend for lunch at a burger joint. They had grilled chicken so I was good and got that (with no mayo of course). They had something on the menu called "The Godzilla". Out of curiosity I asked about it. It was a double cheeseburger with pastrami and roast beef on it. Even at my fattest, most gluttonous, pre-P90 days I would've found that disgusting! When she told me what was on it, I almost had to throw up, the thought of eating that much food and that much red meat was just repugnant. So much for my dad's idea of moderation! So I'm glad I got out of there with grilled chicken!

WEEK FOUR

My Dad's always talked about moderation, 'all things in moderation', he says. He brings it up everytime I start a diet or excercise program. I think for the most part he's right, the only problem is how do you know moderation if you've always overeaten or eaten junk your whole life, what if you've never learned moderation? And moderation can't apply to me since I'm trying to lose weight, get in shape, and live a healthy lifestyle. If I already had all those things and just wanted to maintain my weight and health I'd agree, moderation is the way to go, but it's like I told my dad: you can't tell an alcoholic or drug addict 'moderation'. You and I may be able to have a drink and control ourselves but an alcoholic can't. Moderation simply doesn't apply. So I view myself as a food and lazy addict, just like one drink is enough to set off an alcoholic, one bite too much or one day of not working out is enough for me to then overeat or stop working out completely. Once I get through the next 60 or so days than, maybe moderation can apply. It's like knowing your limit at the bar, an alcoholic has a limit of zero, but for other people they can find that limit of 2 or 3 drinks, so eventually I can find my limit of how much I can eat and still maintain my weight.But until then.... 4 weeks down, 11 to go!

Day Twenty-Eight

My day off! Yea!

For the last 3 Sundays Ive had a hard time getting up to do my workouts, no matter what time I go to bed, no matter if I go out or not, drink or not I just can't seem to wake up early on Sunday. It must be some physiological or psychological need to sleep in on Sunday (we'll see if that changes once football starts!). So, in this next coming week I'm gonna shift my off day to Sunday. For the past 3 Sundays I had to work out late and I think that threw off a bit on Monday having to work out again so soon. I wanted to wait till next Sunday so I wouldn't spoil an momentum I've built up, but by next Sunday I'll have over 30 days under my belt and I don't think I have to worry about slacking off.  Plus I want to get back into hiking, so having Sunday off may be incentive to get out and hike.

Day Twenty-Seven

Nearing the end of another week.... I made the mistake of working out before I worked out. That is to say I did 20 minutes of cardio before I did the strength routine of P90. I usually do it the other way around, but thought I'd switch it up to keep things fresh... man, that was a mistake! I barely had enough energy to get through the routine! But I powered through and was able to finish. From now on, on days I do strength and cardio I'll remember to do strength first!

Day Twenty-Six

Pre P90 program I'd grab McDonald's on the way into work. I'd get a McDouble, a Hot N Spicy chicken sandwich, 10 piece chicken nuggets, fries and a coke. I'd scarf it all down and stuff myself in like 10 minutes. I'd feel stuffed for the rest of day but would still eat on my lunch break and maybe after work too. That one meal was nearly 2000 cals, almost all my cals for the day in one sitting.

Today I got a grilled chicken sandwich, no mayo, small fries and diet coke. Total cals, 750.

But more importantly the thought of eating that much food is disgusting to me, I could never do that again. Also, I enjoyed the grilled chicken, the thought of a greasy cheeseburger is becoming repugnant. I might want to eat one every once in awhile, but it just seems so heavy and gross to me right now. Before I could eat one everyday, now id have to force it down.

They say never go shopping when you're hungry 'cause you'll buy more food than you need, I think the same is true when I'd go to a fast food joint, I'd be starving and everything would look good, I wouldn't be able to decide so I'd get one of everything, then I'd feel obligated to eat it and just stuff myself. Not anymore, if I spread out my meals during the day, I'm less likely to feel like I'm "starving" and less likely to go crazy and order one of everything, scarfing down a day's calories in one meal.

Day Twenty-Five

I've been trying to stay under 1800 cals, which is about 500 less than my BMR. Combined with the workouts I should average well over 2 lbs of weight loss a week. Like the workouts, eating less has gotten easier. Little changes like no cheese, no mayo and no soda are pretty easy to stick to and can easily save 200-400 cals. I'm also eating smaller meals and spreading them out throughout the day. So, i'll eat 5 or six times a day, the meals are just enough to keep me satisfied and going for a few hours until the next meal or snack, then before I know it the day's over and it's time to go to bed. Spreading it out like that seems to also help with energy since I don't go into that 'food coma' after dinner like I did before. And drinking lots and lots of water keeps my stomach full for most of the day.

Day Twenty-Four

We ate spagheti tonight, which has always been one of my weaknesses. I could normally eat 3 or 4 servings easily, but tonight I drank 2 glasses of water before, had a salad and then had one serving, and a serving that was way smaller than I would normally get. So, I consider that a little victory. I consider every day that I eat right and/or exercise a little victory. So 66 more little victories and I'll be a success!

Day Twenty-Three

As of 8:10 in the PM I have yet to workout! I woke up at 6 am to be in Tempe at ASU to take care of some things and then had to come straight to work, so I'm pretty beat already, I won't get home till after 11 but there is no way I am not working out! I won't allow it! Hopefully my time at ASU this morning was well spent, I'll keep the blog updated as things develop... But as for now, I have to power through the rest of my day and do my workout tonight. Someone else at work who hasn't seen me a long time has said it looks like I've lost at least 20lbs! I know she was exaggerating and maybe said it to pump me up, but she said the weight loss is definitely noticeable. To her I say "Thank You", it'll help me get through tonight after such a long day!

Day Twenty-Two

Was a busy day today, I had school, had to go to the dentist and run other errands. But I was able to make time for my workouts. That's always tripped me up in the past is getting too busy with work and school and internships and other projects that I miss one day which turns into 2 then 3 then 4, so it felt great to make sure that no matter how busy I got today I was able to get my routine in. Actually I worked out for almost an hour and half today. 35 minutes of the P90 routine, 30 minutes of aerobics on the wii, and I walked the dog for about another half hour.

WEEK THREE

About 3 months ago something suddenly dawned on me. Work was getting me down, for one reason or another, and I realized something that I had forgotten long ago: I AM BETTER THAN THIS PLACE. My realization didn't come from a place of ego or fantasy, I honestly felt it and still do. I have produced 3 projects, including one feature film that have screened at Sundance. I have been instrumental in numerous other film projects some of which have played at other festivals. I have written and/or produced and/or edited commercials that have aired across the country. I have been praised for my editing, my writing, I've even been praised as an actor! So, with all due respect I really feel like, yes, I AM BETTER THAN THIS PLACE. Somehow what was supposed to be a temporary job became more permanent, and more importantly somehow I was letting other people, other less talented people, dictate my life, how I felt and what I thought.

Fast forward to a few weeks ago when I decided to start the P90 program. I realised not only was I better than my job, I was better than my life. I was better than sleeping 12 hours a day, I was better than drinking 3 cans of soda a day, I was better than McDonald's and Jack In The Box and all the other crap I ate everyday. I WAS BETTER THAN THIS. I wanted better and I deserved better.

And so my journey began. But a better job and better life won't be handed to me. Wanting it and deserving it are very different from earning it and achieving it. So, everyday I recommit myself to earning a better job (by going back to school, by increasing my skillset) and achieving a better life (by eating better and exercising). In that sense the hardest part has been achieved- the victory over self, over my own doubts and fears, and over my (false) beliefs in my limitations. NO LONGER WILL I ALLOW OTHERS TO DICTATE HOW I FEEL!

3 weeks down, 10 weeks to go... FUCK YEAH!

Day Twenty-One

Today was a rest day, but oddly I felt more tired today than on day's I workout. My energy levels not as high, I guess that's good enough reason to keep working out. I have a little more than a week left on levels 1-2 before I go up to levels 3-4, so gotta make this last week count! 9 days and I'll be 1/3 of the way through! Amazing!

Day Twenty

I only worked out for a half-hour today, I say only because for about a week I've been working out for at least an hour, so today when I just did the half hour of the routine it seemed like I was just barely gettin' warmed up. But I had to leave for work, so that's all I could do. So, I'm gonna head home and do another half hour.... But I guess that's a good sign that working out for only a half hour seems like I'm getting off easy!

Day Nineteen

Today I had the first person ask me if Ive lost weight. It was a reporter that just works weekends and the past couple of weekends he's been up north covering floods or fire, etc. so it's been awhile since he's seen me. He was the first to notice the weight loss since most people see me everyday it's hard for them to notice the small day-to day change. It'll be really neat to see friends or family that I haven't seen in awhile after 90 days, I cant wait to see their faces!

Day Eighteen

About 4 months ago I bought a pair of jeans that shouldve fit, they didn't, not even close, but I kept 'em anyway. I'm usually in between a 40 and 38. 40's are too loose and 38's are a bit to tight. These were 38 and they were waaaaay tight. Then I noticed that my 40's were getting a bit tight. Fast forward to a week ago, I tried on the new jeans and I could almost get 'em on. Well, this morning I tried again, and after a bit of a struggle I was finally able to button 'em for the first time!

I think I have a pair of really old jeans that are 36, I'm gonna hang 'em up in my bathroom near my mirror as motivation.... I'll keep ya posted!

Day Seventeen

Worked out for an hour again, I'm starting to get used to this new routine....

My nephew's going away party was today, so i did eat some cake and ice cream, but it was a small piece and a small scoop. Anything's fine, as long as it's in moderation, so I won't be eating cake or ice cream anytime soon.

I've notice little things, like clothes fitting better, not getting winded walking to the mailbox and back, easier to tie my shoes, all things pointing to bigger change just ahead! But its these little changes that keep me motivated from day to day.

I also noticed that doing an hour of moderate aerobics only burns about 400 cals! Which is less than a pound a week...It's much easier to just not eat those cals in the first place! So now i'm really thinking about the cals I'm consuming... is a slice of cheese worth it at 60 cals? or a squeeze of mayo at 50? or a can of soda at 100+? Now when I eat I'm making every cal count, converting it in my head and saying "that's an extra 12 mins on the treadmill... that's not worth it" It really has become a lifestyle change!

Day Sixteen

I increased my weights today, so I couldn't do as many reps as before but I gotta keep pushing myself. I also worked out for a total of an hour and half. 30 min of the routine and an hour of aerobics on the wii. Again, feel exhausted but good. For lunch I had pizza (arghh) but I felt sick afterwards, it was disgusting, I've been eating so healthy lately that I think my body rejected it, before I would've devoured it, and after living on greasy crap like that my body had no choice, but now that it's gotten a taste of real food it rejected garbage like that! It'll make staying away from junk like that easier.

Day Fifteen

This morning was the first morning where I didn't even question me working out. I didn't hesitate, I didn't think twice about it, I just did it automatically. It's becoming routine, and it's becoming addicting. And I think I'm gonna start doing my Wiifit at night when I get home from work, to blow off steam, release stress, burn off extra energy, tire myself out before bed and raise my metabolism at night.

The one downside is that it seems that with all the water I'm drinking I have to go to the bathroom at least 5 or 6 times a day. Which is good that it gets up and walking around, but I keep thinking someone's gonna notice and wonder "what's up with Ernie? Why's he always going to the bathroom?" Damn, just typing that right now, makes me have to pee! Oh, well price I haveta pay!

WEEK TWO

Another big week. Workouts are getting easier, time to step up and kick it up a notch! Even though I almost missed Sunday it's become easier to stick with the routine. People at work are noticing all kinds of changes: changes in my energy, my attitude, someone even commented that she's noticed my chest looks a bit bigger. I've definitely noticed that I feel happier and more carefree at work. I'm sure it's partly due to the exercise but partly due to the fact that I just don't care anymore, I know I'm leaving (one way or another) and so things that would've bothered me in the past just don't seem to matter. It's liberating, I really realize what matters to me and that's my own health, school, friends and family. I see everyone consumed with work and stressing out over everything that's going on and I wanna tell 'em to snap out of it! Some of them have noticed the change in me and want to do the program too, they want my energy, my attitude, and stress relief.

Anyway, no time to blog, gotta get ready for tomorrow!

Day Fourteen

Day off from working out! I feel great, so good in fact that when I start back up with the workouts I'm gonna increase my weights and increase the time I do cardio.

School starts this week, so i'll be a lot busier, but I have to stay focused and keep my workout routine. The last time I was working out regularly it really helped out with the stress from work and school. I forced myself to keep it up and I felt better, had more energy, slept better and had more time for homework. That was over a year ago during the spring semester of '09. I fell out of my routine when I was working for the Phx Film Festival and worked about 5 20 hour days straight, slept about 10 hours in 7 days and then crashed hardcore, slept for almost 2 days straight. I was a wreck, people said how bad I looked, I lived off vodka and redbull for the whole weekend. After that I stopped working out and haven't really gotten back into since. I had lost about 20 pounds in the months prior, in the year since I've gained back that 20 and another 20.

Just gotta stay focused, working out has to be my number one priority, over work, school, whatever. That's the only way I'll keep on track.

Day Thirteen

I'm glad to write that my brother is doing the program! It'll really help to have someone else around that's doing the program and dieting, so we can encourage each other and keep each other motivated.

The last couple of workouts we're fairly easy, so I think it's time to increase my weights, maybe step up to the next phase of the program. Tomorrow's my day off, but I feel like I could go if I needed to. That's a huge progression from last week, where I had to struggle to get to my day off. And regarding yesterday, I do feel really good that I didn't quit or slack off. I'd feel horrible if I did. A friend texted me that "every time you overcome the urge to quit, it becomes easier to keep going". So, here's hoping it becomes even easier to stick with it.

A girl at work noticed a change, she said that she noticed a little tightening in the chest. And when I flexed she said it became even more apparent. The compliments feel good, almost as good as the increased energy and other encouragement I'm getting. 2 weeks down!

More Day Twelve

From now on, no matter what I have to do my workout in the morning. Not only is it good to get into a set schedule but after work I'm just too tired to workout. But I was able to fight through that and get through my workout last night. Not only that I decided to do the workout twice. So, I did cardio for just over an hour, I was exhausted but felt great, and felt like I made up a little for going out and drinking two nights in a row. I slept better and was able to get up at a decent hour this morning. I downloaded some cheesy hair metal and it helped pump me up and get me through the workout. From now on though I gotta stick to working out in the morning, if I need to/want to I can do a quick workout at night to burn off an extra energy and tire myself before I go to bed.

Day Twelve

Got up super late, barely enough time to get to work.... So, I'll have to workout tonight when I get home. I was in such a nice rhythm for about 10 days than the weekend killed it. No excuse to get discouraged though! After tonight's workout then I have one more day and then I'll have 2 weeks in! It really is getting easier, last week the last couple of days before my break were brutal, I really had to slog it through and force myself to workout, now other than getting up late, the workouts are becoming easier and coming more natural. Hopefully I can use my day off as a chance to regroup and get back on track and back into my regular habit of working out before work.

Day Eleven

Well, I violated one of my rules, yesterday, I weighed myself. I couldn't resist, I wanted to see how much I had lost, turns out that I had lost 6 lbs. Which was great, unfortunately it gave me an excuse to eat a little more than I had been in the previous 10 days. I thought "I can eat a little extra, I've been good, I've lost 6 lbs". So, I really have to stick with my rule and just not weight myself and focus on the workouts and let the weight take care of itself.

I went out drinking too, I have to stay away from beer, when I've been on programs in the past I can do great for an entire week, lose like 4 lbs and then blow it all in one night of drinking. So if I do drink I have to stick to hard liquor and no soda or sugary mix ins. So, if you see me at a bar I'll buy ya a gin and tonic (only 60 calories).

Another side effect of drinking is that I got up a little later than usual and had to rush to get my workout in. I still did my full routine, and I'm proud of myself for sticking to the program even when I wasn't feeling 100%.

So, another day closer to my goal!

Day Ten

Its definatly easier to eat right when you're stuck at work rather than on your day off. For some reason McDonald's and Burger King seem more tempting, maybe it's cuz you can't drive more than a block without seeing 'em. Plus on your day off the refrigerator is right there, filled with all kind of goodies. So, it's easy to eat right when you bring lunch or are stuck far away from a fridge, the real test is when you can go anywhere, and no one's watching...

Day Nine

Day 9, 10% of the way there!
Wonderful day of from work. And when Im off of work I stay away from the TV, at least the news, and nothing is more glorious! It is getting easy to get through the workouts and with the increased energy Im staying active throughout the whole day. I'll see when I can move on to phase 2. When the workouts on Phase 1 become too easy then it's time to move on- not quite to that point but maybe in a week, week and a half, we'll see.

Day Eight

Well, my bosses at work may have found a way to get rid of me sooner than the 90 days. I told my boss that I need Wednesdays off for school. This has never been a problem; the company has even given me tuition reimbursement knowing that my education is a benefit to the company. Yet, when I told him, he grumbled, hemmed and hawed and said that he’d have to check with his manager. Everyone works on Wednesdays, there's plenty of coverage, and I had Wednesdays off last semester, there is absolutely no issue with me having Wednesdays off. So, I’m thinking they might refuse to give me Wednesdays off, claiming that since I’m on probation and that I got a “1” on my review that they can’t give me the same luxury of a flexible schedule as other people. If that’s the case, they’ll force me to choose between work and school, and I’ll of course choose school, which will be exactly what they want me to do. Well I have a few tricks up my sleeve, they think they can back me into a corner but I’ll fight ‘em every step of the way! And they can kiss my soon-to-be rock hard ass!

WEEK ONE

What a strange/crazy/wonderful week its been! I think back to where I was in my life just a week ago and how much things have changed already and I can hardly wait for the rest of the 90 days to come. A week ago I was miserable for so many reasons and dreading what would happen next at work. Even though I hated it, I still wasn't ready to let go of it. Then I found out how little Im valued and how little I have to gain by continuing my relationship with them. It's truly been liberating, I know what's important now and what's worth caring about and what's worth worrying about and I can tell you without any hesitation that it is not this job. Its only been a week but I feel that I've changed so much. I feel better in both mind and body. I knew I needed to make changes, in both my lifestyle and place of employment, beforehand, but being slapped in the face like I was is the perfect motivator to make both changes happen. And I couldn't do so without all the support! And to hear that other people are changing thier lives because of me is just amazing! Who knew that I'd be turning into some sorta Tony Robbins! I guess if I've learned anything this past week is that you can make a change, everyday is a choice, you can change or stay the same. Choice and change are concious decisions. If you are unhappy you can change that, you can make the choice not to be. For simplicity or fear or comfort I chose to be unhappy, but for the last seven days I made the hard decision to change my life, which is not always the easy choice, but is one that will always lead to happiness. And then I marvel at how if my life can change this much in a mad/great week such as this, what do the remaining 83 days have in store? I can't wait to find out.

Day Seven

Day of rest from my workouts! I kinda miss ‘em, well…. I actually do have a great deal of energy in the afternoon now, so just when everyone else is crashing from lunch I’m feelin’ great. The only thing that doesn’t make me feel great is coming into this place. Sometimes the environment here is so toxic that I can hardly stand it. It’s going to be so good for my health, for so many reasons to finally get out of here. There’s always chips and cookies laying around, people always bring us food, soda and snack machines are too available, my job is super sedentary, management is so inept and were going through a reorganization that is so poorly planned that it’ll mean more work for us (at the same pay) that it can help but stress one out. So, altogether this is a very unhealthy place to be, physically and emotionally. 83 days to go…

Day Six

Ive had to force myself into working out the last couple or days, but once I get going any reluctance goes away and I feel good afterwards, tired and sore but good. I usually feel sore when I first get to work, but once I start walking around and move a bit that goes away too and I start feeling good. And then everyone says how proud they are of me so then I feel really good. Ive inspired my old boss to get back into a regular workout routine, so now that's at least 3 people I've inspired, which in turns keeps me insipred!

Anyway, looking foward to having a rest tommorrow and relaxing before week two starts.

Day Five

I dont mind working the weekends, not at all, at least not as much as before. Things are so much more relaxed and chill, there's no BS, everyone knows what needs to get done and how to do it. If only M-F were like this!

Anyway, working out today was a bit tough, I havent hit the wall yet but can feel it coming, i'll be glad on Tuesday which will be my day off. I have noticed an increase in energy, I dont get that late afternoon slugishness and I'm getting up at a normal hour instead of 11:30 or noon. Overall I'm starting to feel better so I know I'm on the right track.

Day Four

I'm happy to hear that Ive inspired my brother to lose a few pounds. Actually we've been trying to do a weight loss contest with the whole family, we all chip in 20, 50 bucks or whatever and who ever loses the most, percentage-wise, after 3 months gets all the money. So since I'm doing P90X he figured that now would be a good time to finally get the contest going. I also found out that another friend of mine is doing a 9 week program called Couch To 5K. Is good to hear about all the people changing their lives, good to hear about the victories and defeats and how to bounce back. I'm not saying it's gonna be easy, but writing the blog, helping others and knowing that some of your friends and family are struggling thru it like you make it that much more doable.

Day Three

Ive lost 2 lbs so far, but Ive decided to not focus on weight, my focus instead is to just do the routines and get thru them for the next 90 days, then the weight loss will take of itself. In the past Ive been so focused on a number, and no matter what that number was, whether it was 50, 60, 70 , 80 lbs it always seemed so daunting that it made any progress seem miniscule. So I think Im gonna stop weighing myself and just focus on doing the routines everyday. That'll be my goal, 90 days, not 90 lbs.

Day Two

I was talking to a friend of mine, he's been real supportive of my change and the whole blogging/documentary angle, he's said that he's gonna be on me every day to make sure I'm keeping with the program. After talking he became so inspired that he's decided to use the next 90 days to change his life too. He's gonna do the whole blog thing too so once he sets it up I'll link to it.

I think that's the best thing that's come out of this so far, the support from friends and family and co-workers, the inspiration I've given to other people and helping each other achieve our goals.

Great things are happening, and it's only day 2!

More Day One

WORK:
Morale is so low at work. They've made it abundantly clear to us how little we're appreciated, and how no matter what we do it'll never be enough. They try to use fear and the bad economy to keep everyone in line, lucky for me none of thier tactics have any power over me, I just keep telling myself I'm one step closer to freedom.

WORKOUT:
The yoga part did kind kick my ass, it'll take awhile before I'm flexible enough to do all the poses properly and be able to hold 'em for as long as I need to. Other than that I felt good after the workout, and I don't feel like I over did it or killed myself, looking fwd to strength tomorrow.

TODAY'S WEIGHT: 282

WHAT I ATE:
almond crunch cereal w/ 1 % milk

deli sub from fry's
pre-cut fresh fruit also from fry's

footlong subway club, on wheat, no cheese, no mayo
half a bag of baked lay's
lemonade

Day One

As some of you may know I’ve been under a microscope at work, in fact they’ve been trying to get rid of me for nearly 2 years. They pushed out my boss last year and several other of my coworkers earlier this year. So it came as no surprise to me yesterday when I had my yearly review that they put me on 90 days probation. I think them firing me is a foregone conclusion, there’s nothing I can do to change that, and honestly I don’t care since I no longer wish to be employed there after the way they’ve treated myself and fellow coworkers.

Anyway, I was joking around with some of the guys at work and somebody mentioned that I should start the P90X workout program, since I’m gonna be fired in 90 days anyway why not do it with washboard abs?! What started as a joke soon became serious. We talked more and more about it, how it’d be a great way to get back at them and a great thing to document.

So here I am on day one. Work gave my 90 days and I’m throwing it back in their face, I’m changing my life, building a better Ernie, in 90 days I may be out of a job but I’ll be a totally new person, and they’ll still be the same petty people working the same horrible job. So, I’m starting this blog as a part of this journey, to document it for myself and for others. So, wish me luck, send me good vibes and good thoughts (and any good diet tips if ya got ‘em) It’ll be a long, tough journey but one worth taking.

The last 90 days of my old job, the first 90 days of my new life!